Getting Started

Okay. I'm going to start with what I know, then go from there. I was raised Mormon, so that's where I'll begin.

I was born into a good Mormon family but it was never too religious in the house. We went to church each week, and we refrained from going out to businesses on Sundays (except when on vacation and we needed to). But we didn't do any scripture study or major family home evenings. Sometimes we had a family activity on Mondays that we attributed to FHE, but it wasn't planned. There were no prayers, singing, lessons, etc. Just the activity. Skiing, ice skating, a trip to the park, or whatever.

In my teen years, my family became more attentive to the church stuff (maybe because my parents thought that teenagers needed more guidance in their lives? I don't really know). But we began to do early morning scripture reading and prayer. It was always a huge chore to wake up early and go sit in the living room for that. Especially if I had been up late doing homework the night before.

Seminary was not fun, and I hated both the early-morning and during-school versions of the class. While I enjoyed being with my church friends and I found the teacher to be fun, I hated the topic. I also disliked being seen as Mormon, and anyone who saw me leave the school campus to go to Seminary knew I was Mormon.

Church dances were a nightmare for me, as I didn't like any of the guys in the ward, and the others in the stake were completely oblivious to my existence. In my 4 years at church dances, I probably danced a total of 20 times. Pretty sad. I just couldn't bear to ask the immature guys to dance, knowing that they didn't want to and would just goof off the whole time. Every time a church dance rolled around, my parents forced me to go despite my vehement refusals to go.

Church itself was a long chore, and I ached to get out of my uncomfortable dress and back into pants. Whenever I asked a teacher a question regarding the logic of a lesson, I was always told that I shouldn't question the Lord. I was unable to reconcile the need to go to regular school, where I was encouraged to learn, ask questions, and debate concepts, with going to church and being told not to do those same things. That was tough.

I also had problems with the history of the church versus the history of the world. At school I would learn about people, places, and events that were found in many books. I could even go to an average world globe and find the places that were discussed in school lessons. I loved that. At church, however, the people, places, and events were only found in one book (the Book of Mormon - we never really focused on Bible stories). I couldn't take a place from the BoM and find it on a globe. For example, I researched a ton of information in an attempt to find out where Zarahemla was located. There just aren't enough clues in the BoM, and no other books talk about it. Overall, I just had massive problems with the proven things versus the religious things.

My second-to-biggest complaint about the church was that the people were so unlike what I thought they should be. According to church lessons, the church members were supposed to be loving and caring of others. This was completely opposite of what I actually witnessed. The people I saw were scathing, gossipy, jealous people who did kind things only because they thought others were watching. They didn't do kind things because it was the right thing to do. People would swear away from church and not think anything of it. They would drink coffee. They would have less-than-pure thoughts (and share them) and then still be able to participate in all church activities. I rarely saw anyone have to pass on the sacrament due to their repenting for some sin, even when I had witnessed a variety of sins being committed.

My biggest complaint about the church was that the rules were always changing. Blacks can or cannot have the priesthood. You can or cannot drink caffeinated beverages. Polygamy is or is not acceptable. The temple rituals were changed. Family focus is emphasized, yet severely separated on Sundays and throughout the week due to church callings. These things are not part of truth to me, but part of man's need to create a corporate (aka cult) hold over his followers. To this day, women are considered second-rate citizens. They cannot hold the priesthood. A 12-year-old boy has more power than his mother. To see full-grown women cry with happiness at the thought of the power that runs through their pre-teen sons is just scary to me.

So, this is where my breakdown of religion will begin. I will take a particular subject and try to logic it out as completely as possible before I move on to another subject.